Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
