is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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