Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
