Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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