Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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