So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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