I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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