Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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