No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
