but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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