I want to have your abortion
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
