How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize