He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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