are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize