Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
