ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
