KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
how do flat chested girls get laid?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
