Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
