My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
