I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize