i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
