I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So much rum. So many feels.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
