question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
