I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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