Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I forgot wine drunk hurts
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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