ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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