Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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