I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize