He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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