So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
