What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
