Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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