he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
