oh god the rape fog is back!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize