so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
