whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
