I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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