They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
