We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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