i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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