he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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