The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
