If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
