So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
