You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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