They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
