This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
