I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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