it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
