i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
