i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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