I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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