Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
