I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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