just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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