Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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