Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize