Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
