New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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