you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
