i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
