If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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